


Dryer Sheets

by enigmaticNeurologist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bulges and Nooks (Homestuck), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Nook Fingering (Homestuck), Oral Sex, POV Second Person, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Tender Sex, The Homestuck Epilogues: Meat, also the more i write the longer the run on sentences get, doesnt really need meat context though, guess what i dont care its adverb time babey, its half stylistic half i dont care enough to reword stuff, no beta we die like men, overuse of adverbs is bad they said
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:21:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26369407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticNeurologist/pseuds/enigmaticNeurologist
Summary: in which that washing machine scene gets its rating bumped up, again
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 9
Kudos: 147





	Dryer Sheets

**Author's Note:**

> while writing this i found out that a really cool way to waste like 5-10 minutes and not write your fic or an essay is to type each letter into the additional tags box and see what's autosuggested. if you wanna kill more time than you currently are on ao3, may i suggest... that.  
> also this has taken me like a month to write because i started it and then spilled tea on my laptop, so i was borrowing a friend's old one, and i felt like writing alien sex on a borrowed machine would be a lil weird. got it fixed though so im back at it  
> and as an avid non-dick lover myself, i tried to do my best with this one lmao.

Those feelings of fear and love twist and wind together into your chest until it feels like your heart has been punched. This weird, almost empty feeling isn't something you want to think about. Spending years in stasis again feels too cyclical, another loop to put you through, to test your willpower and to test the bonds of everyone on this goddamn ship. You shut your eyes even tighter, trying to focus on the gentle and insistent pressure of Karkat's mouth on yours. 

The hands that have been gently resting on Karkat's chest now curl into the fabric of his shirt. It's technically your shirt, but you're technically each other's everything, and nothing really matters anymore. Everything matters too much. Shit's wild. With a growing need for air, you reluctantly break the kiss. Karkat blinks his eyes open, and starts to extract his own limbs from their current snarl around your body. 

"Wait no dude hold on," you pull off your sunglasses while talking, folding them up gently and setting them on the washing machine next to you.

Karkat's eyes widen slightly, his pupils dilating with them, and his grin grows to show off more of those intimidatingly hot teeth. Damn, this guy is out here making you think _teeth_ are hot. Guess this is what love is. He brings his legs back up around your hips and tugs you closer to the dryer. Holy shit. 

"Guess what idiot, mumbling gets way easier to understand when you're basically doing it right into my aural canals," Karkat's voice has lost most of its projection and you can feel the bass notes travel into your hands from his chest. 

"So you like it when I talk real close to you then huh?" you move your mouth so your lips are practically touching Karkat's ear, "You're into that asmr shit, A Strider Mouth Right-next-to-you. That last one was a compound word, gotta sacrifice some shit for the sake of the acronyms."

"Of course, because _now_ is the perfect time for fucking acrostic poetry," you can hear the grin in Karkat's voice, and you can also hear the way his voice catches and drags on the last word as you scrape your teeth across the shell of his ear, morphing into a softly laughed "Fuck," as you gently bite his earlobe. 

"It could be the perfect time for fucking, maybe," you say as Karkat's claws tighten their hold on the back of your (his) sweater. 

"What the fuck are we supposed to do if someone else wants to use the clothing ablution device, just let them deal with the horrifying view of my bulge and your face?" The breathlessness in Karkat's voice does a killer job at detracting from the sarcasm in his word choice. 

"It's not horrifying babe, that shit is hotter than the clothes that come out of this dryer are gonna be in about another forty-five minutes and twenty-two seconds. Also I can fly over and lock the door real quick." You waggle your eyebrows, a motion that is more exaggerated than it needs to be since they don't have to go above your shades to be noticed this time. Karkat's surprise quickly is replaced by a laugh that he cuts off by kissing you again. Damn, this is the best. Being in space and actually being able to make out with your alien best friend this time? Hella out of ten, everyone should try it. 

Karkat's teeth press into your lower lip as he quickly sneaks a hand under your shirt and grazes a nipple, making you let out a noise like someone stepped on a squeaky toy, "That door isn't going to lock by itself Dave."

"Aw fuck yeah let's do this thing," you think for a second about just going over to close the door yourself, but you also don't really want to stop touching Karkat at all. As a solution to that, you take note of his legs already around your waist and scoop both hands under his, frankly, fantastic ass. 

"Agh, warn me next time nookwhip!" Karkat's legs tighten around you and he wraps his arms behind your neck, pressing a kiss masquerading as a bite to the side of your neck. 

"Nookwhip, damn I kind of like that one, gonna add it to my rap and also scrabble list" you hover higher up into the air and flick the door lock shut with a single socked foot, so you don't have to let go of Karkat.

"Just when I'm getting into it you have to bring up _board game night_ , great bulgekill Dave," even though your foreheads are pressed together, you can still see Karkat's eyes roll. You start to pivot back around, floating the two of you back over to the dryer, which looks like it finally decided to fully start spinning the clothes. 

"Guess we can forget about board games right now, because this team, we're a team, I love you, we're about to undergo some kickass team bonding," you set Karkat down on the dryer and you feel him chirr against your chest as you reluctantly remove your hands from their place on his ass. 

Karkat starts to say something about bonding back, but he quickly stops talking as your mouth meets his again. You're pulled against Karkat again by his legs locking behind the small of your back, tugging your crotch flush against his and the front of your legs up against the dryer. From your current vantage point, his bulge is definitely interested, and so is your dick. There's a slight vibration thing going on with the dryer itself, maybe the clothes in there got bunched up all wild and skewed the balance somehow. You don't fucking know how dryers work, washing clothes was a job best undertook in the bathtub with a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, some abrasive as fuck sponges, and a fuckton of cold water. You can just dry shit on the roof, sun's fuckin hot enough for it. When the door to the building is locked behind you by accident(?) you can sometimes try to make a shitty fort out of some shirts. Never his shirts though, dry clean only for the coolest of--

"Dave," you feel Karkat's hands holding the sides of your face and his forehead pressed against yours, "I don't know what the fuck a dry clean is, but it seems like it's kind of freaking you out. Do you want to stop?"

You give a half laugh, "Shit, sorry about that. Had a fuckin laundry crisis for no reason. We can jam about that later, but right now I kinda wanna put my mouth on your junk so how about we do that maybe?"

Still pressed against Karkat, you can feel his bulge's breakdance routine step it up a notch. "If you start rapping into my nook again I'm going to try my absolute fucking hardest to cram my entire body into the heated centrifusion device we're on and lock myself in there until you learn to behave." 

"Nothin sexier than rattling around with a bunch of hot and wet pajamas and all of Roxy's fucking buttons that he forgets to take off of his jackets half the time."

"Tell that to my bulge."

"Fair," you press a kiss to the side of Karkat's mouth that he tries to chase for a second, but you're already sinking to your knees on the floor of the room. You hover a nice inch or so off the ground to keep your poor knees intact, but that brings you to the ideal face height with Karkat's waist. As you sit there for a second, you notice that the shaking of the dryer is pretty fuckin significant. Not enough to worry about it falling over or anything, but if the way Karkat's hands are clenching on your shoulders and his thighs are shaking give you any indication, it's enough to make his nook feel it. 

You run your fingers over the front of his pants and he bucks into your hand slightly, a cracked chirp-moan escaping him as you give his bulge a squeeze through the fabric. 

"What do you want this pants situation to be like?" one of your hands is resting on the waistband of Karkat's shorts and the other is snaking its way up one of the legs. 

Karkat removes his hands from your shoulders for as long as he needs to yank his shorts and boxers off of his legs, throwing them onto the ground and letting out a loud "Holy bulgeshitting FUCK that's cold," as his newly exposed nook hits the top of the dryer. 

"I can fix that, hold up," you lean forward, spreading his legs apart before removing one hand from his thigh to direct his bulge into your mouth. Karkat lets out a noise that's a few decibles away from a yell as you immediately swallow as much as you can take. His tangy, slightly sweet taste hits your tongue and you feel your own dick twitch in response as you groan around his bulge. Gag reflex be damned, you've gotten fuckin good at this. This close to Karkat, you can feel him grind both into your mouth and against the shaking dryer below him. Fuck, he's probably soaking the top of it. That's really fucking hot. You're in the goddamn zone right now. Mindful eating only in this house. Karkat's soft thighs are starting to sandwich your head and you're all for it. You swallow around him again in response. This is the best.

Karkat's breaths fall heavy and quick, and each time you shift the rhythm or sneak a hand up to tweak his grubscars he gasps expletives that become progressively more overtaken by clicks and trills. You lift your gaze up to look at his face, and his eyes are shut tightly, mouth slightly parted, arms braced behind him as he rolls his hips toward you. 

You replace your mouth with your hand, wrapping your tongue around the tip right before you fully let it go to twine around your fingers instead. "Want me to keep this up or do we wanna flip this train to a different set of tracks. Hit the lever, we can either do nothing different and keep my mouth in one of my favorite fuckin spots or we can switch stuff up and also get my dick run over? Moral quandary for the ages over here."

"Trains are the single most fucking useless mode of transportation either of our civilizations have ever invented." Karkat's hands leave your shoulders to start gesticulating as he speaks, "And that thinkpan experiment doesn't work so well when you've practically been in exactly the same fucking situation and just end up falling asleep in the fucking control booth and the train sets on fire and explodes and kills all your--" you lean forward and press your forehead against his again, and he cuts himself off with a scrunch of the eyebrows that you can feel from being right up on them. "Fuck, sorry. Shit, why are we so bad at this?"

"This is what happens when two traumatized hot pieces of ass decide to get together I guess."

Karkat lets out a laugh disguised as a growl and he wraps his arms back around you, pressing his face against your chest. He mumbles something into your shirt that kind of sounds like "Fuckin, ass." You laugh into his hair and press a kiss to one of his horns, making him chirp softly and grind his hips into yours. His heels press into the small of your back and tug you towards him, and your entire body wholeheartedly agrees with this course of action. 

"Wanna, oh god, fuck, jam in the toastyass laundry after this?" Your thin pajama pants aren't doing much of anything to muffle the sensation of Karkat's bulge trying to get at your dick through the fabric.

Karkat lifts his head off of its place on your chest and on the way from that spot to your lips, says, "After."

You remove your hand from its current place on Karkat's bulge long enough to pull your own dick out of your pants. The rough feeling of the cloth moving against your skin is quickly followed by the cool sensation of the spaceship air hitting you, and you groan into Karkat's mouth. His legs tighten around you again, and you are subsequently smothered by the feel of Karkat's burning hot bulge. It twines its way around your length and your grip tightens on Karkat's shirt to an extent that would probably promote tearing if you had his set of claws. His claws are instead trailing gently over your upper back, occasionally twisting into your hair, never enough to hurt, just enough to direct. The combination of sensations, the warm pulsing pressure of him around your dick contrasted with the gentle desperation of his mouth on yours and his arms around you, makes a molten feeling start pooling in your core.

"There's a lot going on down here already but I'm gonna do my halloween burglar rogue best to sneak my hand up in this action real quick," you say between heavy breaths, "My dick is beating yours in this race I think and I don't know if that's a good thing or not."

Karkat rolls his eyes at you with a smile that quickly turns into his mouth falling open and his eyes slamming shut as you reach down and tease his sheath with your fingers. His hips cant up, granting you the ability to clumsily trail your hand down towards his nook. You can't see shit, and it takes you a bit longer than you'd like to trace the edge of his nook, but by the time you get there, you're able to sink two fingers into him with no resistance.

As your digits enter him, Karkat lets out a contented sigh that travels through his entire body. You're so turned on right now you can barely even think. You curl your fingers up inside him at the same pace your hips are currently rolling against his, making sure to brush over his seedflap every few passes.

After thirty seven seconds, Karkat yanks you closer to him, his lips brushing against your ear as he says, "I need you to fuck me yesterday."

"I'm pretty sure that's a direct quote stolen from some book or show I intentionally forgot about. Cliche'd and plagiarized dirty talk is the hottest kind though, so..." you raise your eyebrows at Karkat, "let's remedy the situation or whatever."

"You're such a fucking dumbass. I love you, I'm getting on your dick now."

You barely have enough time to say "hell yeah, love you too," before Karkat's hand is untangling his bulge from your length and pinning it to his chest, while he lifts himself up around your neck with the other hand and settles onto your dick in one fluid motion. Your vision loses focus and all you can think about is the superheated, really fucking awesome feeling guy you love most in the world tightening around you. Within an instant, your consciousness narrows down to the rising tide of pleasure in your gut and the beautiful noises Karkat is making.

Your calves are starting to cramp up from standing on your tip toes, so you switch to hovering instead and let the pressure of Karkat's heels on your back draw you into him. Reaching down again, you sneak a hand back down between your bodies and provide a trellis for Karkat's eager bulge to twine around. Karkat lets out a series of clicks that end in a high pitched trill, and you start to feel yourself cresting the final wave of release. "God, fuck, Kat, I'm gonna--"

"Then fucking do it," Karkat says with a grin, snapping his hips into yours. He clenches around you, drawing you in, and that's it. You sink into the pleasure that pulses in your center and radiates through your body, peaking sharply as Karkat continues to fuck you through it. A bright feeling that takes over every other sense you have, leaving you twitching with the aftershocks as you wrap both hands around Karkat's body.

As soon as you think you can move without falling over, you slide out of him, wincing with the overstimulation, and sink back to your knees. Within seconds, you have two fingers up his nook, searching for his seedflap, while your tongue tangles with his bulge. With your free hand, you grope to the side where you thought you saw a bucket tucked between the machines earlier. Hell fuckin yeah, cleanup made slightly easier. Deus ex fuckina. 

You make insistent circles with the pads of your fingers inside Karkat, zeroing in on that small spot of slightly different texture. Karkat's tells don't give you much time to prepare, but the second before he's about to come, his legs lock up around the sides of your head and his bulge twitches. "Fuck, yeah, just--" Karkat's voice morphs into a chittering moan as you feel a frankly ridiculous amount of come hit your face and splash (partially) into the bucket you hastily shoved next to the edge of the dryer. His hips twitch into your face, gently riding out the waves of his own orgasm before he pets a hand through your hair and pushes you away.

"Get your ass back up here," Karkat said, too blissed out for even a fraction of his tone to seem negative. You comply, not even wiping your face off a little bit before pressing your red-covered mouth against his. 

"We've still got 14 minutes and 23 seconds left on the dryer, wanna clean this up and then hold each other and be gay on the hella uncomfortable floor until it's done?"

"Nothing better to do for the next however long it takes to get where we're going," Karkat grumbles against your lips, and you feel yourself smile against him.

"Love you."

"Love you too. This is gonna be a pain in the bulge to clean up."

**Author's Note:**

> it's 1am and i haven't proofread this at aLL even though it took me a month to write lets goooooooo


End file.
